Let me ask you a series of questions. When your spouse tells you about something new they want to pursue, are you ever saying “no” in your head before they even finish speaking? Are you pointing out all the things that could go wrong or explaining why it will never work? And when you give them the green light to pursue it, are you complaining the entire time? Are you uninterested, uninvolved, and indifferent to the outcome?
Let me start off with a warning… A house divided against itself cannot stand. There must be unity in marriage; therefore if you want to succeed, the first place to start is at home.
Understanding that you need to be kind to your spouse is pretty elementary, don’t you think? How can two people build each other up if they’re too busy tearing each other down? But being nice is just the starting point. In order to succeed, it’s crucial to understand the importance and value of a supportive spouse; both being one and having one. If you think this isn’t an important factor in becoming successful, think again.
According to Napoleon Hill, who interviewed over 500 of some of the most successful people, a common cause of failure is due to the wrong selection of a marriage partner. He states in his book “Think and Grow Rich,” that when a marriage is not harmonious, failure is likely to follow, but it is a form of failure that is marked by misery and unhappiness, destroying all signs of ambition.
I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen held back because of their spouse. It can be difficult enough to press on towards a goal when obstacles are presenting themselves and negative inner thoughts keep seeping in. While a supportive spouse could be that one person to lift you up and encourage you to keep going, an unsupportive spouse could be that final straw that breaks you into defeat, causing you to give up entirely on your dream as if that’s all it could ever be.
Last summer, a friend of mine made a goal to step out of her comfort zone and participate in her first triathlon. She has 2 young children around the same age as mine, so I fully understand the possible difficulties that come with committing to a new task. Thankfully, her husband was fully supportive of her. This meant watching the kids so she could attend fitness and swimming classes every week and biking and running with her. This meant encouraging her and feeling excited for her. He was involved, as much as he could be.
And it turned out that this was a pivotal moment in her life. After the completion of her triathlon, she felt exhilarated. A chain had been broken in her and she came to the realization that she was capable of anything she put her mind too. Soon after, she became an entrepreneur, putting those thoughts into practice and now has a thriving business.
Can you imagine if her husband hadn’t been supportive of her? Can you imagine if he wasn’t willing to be inconvenienced, if he belittled her goals, and threw around his negativity until ultimately, her dreams shattered to the ground? My friend is a pretty determined gal, but an unsupportive spouse can be a great barrier. I know some women whose dreams were shattered because of this very reason. There’s nothing romantic about it. And I can’t tell you how many men I’ve seen genuinely excited about something until they go home and talk to their wives about it.
We have the power to either put out a spark or fan a flame, in our spouse. Let’s aim to be their biggest fan. Let’s aim to bring life with our words.
Ladies, you don’t have to just stand on the sidelines, cheering your husband on. But that is the least you could do. If nothing else, be that shoulder that lifts him up.
Husbands, the same goes for you. Always remember that you’re a team. And teams don’t win by kicking each other down. They win by forming an alliance and working together towards a common goal. Make unity your first goal because when two people agree on something, the sky is the limit!
When two or more people agree on something, anything is possible!
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